Shattered Realities
by milkthepanda
Summary: [KogKagInu] He wishes and he pretends. He pretends to such an extent that he actually started believing. Desperation can make you think crazy things, no matter how hard you wished they were true. No matter how hard you wished they were part of reality.


**SHATTERED REALITIES**

_By Caffeine Lover

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**Author's Note:** This is going to be a very short…drabble, I guess you could call it. This isn't a part of my _It's All On Camera _series because this story just doesn't fit into the entire "feeling" of it. _It's All on Camera_ is about "deleted scenes" that have happened in InuYasha, and well…this one-shot just doesn't fit into that category. By the way, this is _my_ take on Kouga and his relationship with Kagome… Please read and review. Do not forget to enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** InuYasha © Rumiko Takahashi

**Dedication:** Lovingly dedicated to Carl, who for one has shattered my illusion, and helped me through it.

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Lie to me lie to me baby  
Won't you lie to me baby  
One last time

_George_ from **Lie to Me

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**Shattered Realities**

I hate that look in her eyes.

Those blue-grey windows that I love so much should not be tainted and dirtied by that expression, mirroring her dainty smile and hopeful spirit. They should not hold so much _joy_ – especially when it is aimed towards someone as ignorant and harsh as him. Those twin orbs should not be able to contain so much concern, so much sadness, so much blinded hope that they take over her mind and soul, showering her with unfilled visions of him and her together, happy.

But, most of all, they should not harbour so much _love_

_- Oh, how I detest that word! -_

for someone as lowly as he. This love is wasted on such a pathetic creature; this love is taken with calloused hands carelessly and mindlessly, bruising its tender surface many times over the years.

And yet, she still hopes! She still waits, longing for

-_ I've seen her cling onto him, dazzling his soul with her heart-warming smile. Still he does not notice. Still she is in pain. Still she waits, sitting there patiently, knowing that he will come…forgetting all reason -_

his brutal acceptance, not realizing that this cruel and patient lull in time is temporarily killing her, smothering her fiery spirit in life. Smothering the most important aspect that I love about her.

Smothering and taking out the breath of _my_ Kagome.

All my life I have looked at _her_ with those eyes, with that stupid expression, with that _stupid hope_. I have clung onto that mere fact that maybe – just maybe – she'll notice, she'll stop being oblivious to my _eyes_, she'll stop reaching for his approval, she'll stop

_- Her little contributions always goes unnoticed, taken for granted, expected. Not one little word of gratitude has been given, not one little acknowledgement has been received. He's wanting her to be there, needing her to be there, and she complies, but she fails, just the same -_

looking past me (looking right _through_ me), but that she'll start recognizing me for the person that I am.

She _will_ realize just how precious I am, how important I am, how necessary I am. She will grace me with her genuine smile, hold me into her warm embrace, dazzle my soul with her loving nature. She will

_- I know that she will not, for she always aims these qualities towards that damn half-breed, Inu-What's-His-Name. But I can hope, I can hope…I can hope… and perhaps pre -_

accept my tokens of appreciation, my deep-felt words, my affections in return.

Yes, she will look at me with those eyes from now on.

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Her eyes hold so much relief, so much care, so much gentleness… so much love. She extends her slender arms out, inviting me, lips curled up into an approving smile, encouraging me. Kagome has finally seen my potential, my yearning, my

_- the hanyou beside me growled annoyingly, clearly embarrassed by her antics. But her eyes were aimed at **me**…at my body, at my mind, at my soul. Then why, why was she looking at - _

loyalty, my _worth_. They harbour a sort of acceptance, a smidge of a chance. They welcome me with loving limbs, caressing my softly like the tempting siren she is.

Her face glows, I being the source of her happiness – this feeling of euphoria that she has longed for a many nights ago! She understands, her alluring smile telling me all. They say that she has chosen, they say that she has forgotten her past, they say that she is now _willing_. I also understand, and I also open up myself to her, wanting her to come in, take comfort, be in my presence

_- She walks over slowly to the half-breed beside me, flirtatious, smirking slightly, wrapping her petite form around his sturdier one. Her eyes meet mine, full of regret, bliss, and perhaps sorrow -_

and spend an eternity and a day with me.

She agrees, walking towards me, eyes bright, laughter bubbling, onyx locks blowing freely in the wind. She takes my hand, squeezing gently, not wanting to spoil this special moment. I nod, showing her my complete understanding, my complete trust, and the utmost power of my love. The woman before me smiles even wider now, dimples in full bloom as red lips contrasted against the whiteness of her teeth. She's happy with me, and I'm

_- I watch the scene out before me, the couple in each other's arms. They exchange tender words, words full of commitment, full of faithfulness, words full of trust. And then, they lean in, eyes closing, sealing their promises with a -_

honoured to have come out as the victor in this battle.

She murmurs words to me, affection-filled words that lift up my spirits and make me flash her an encouraging smile. She's looking at me with those eyes again, and I, in all of my life, have never felt so loved, so wanted, so appreciated.

_- She pretends not to see how much this hurts me. She pretends that I have found another, and that this is all right. She pretends, pulling down a thick and long veil before her eyes, blocking out the image of myself that she doesn't want to see. She can pretend, but that doesn't mean it's real. -_

Yes, Kagome loves me. Kagome has always loved me; her eyes have never lied. And I have proof, as on this day, when we have tied the bind, become one, been bound together my union. She's be my beautiful bride, and for the rest of my days, I can see her blue-grey eyes laughing at me, smiling at me, caring about me, hoping for me, yearning for me, and loving me. For the rest of my days

_- Their marriage is perfect, their relationship and bond so strong that it could last for an eternity. They hold hands, hers looking delicate and small in the calloused and clawed hand of his. They both share secretive smiles, sly glances, and mouth inaudible words that only they can understand. I stand there, wanting, hoping, wishing it -_

I will not have regretted anything. This is where she belongs – beside me. And this is where I belong…beside her.

_- Wishing it were **me** in InuYasha's place, holding her hand, kissing her lips, embracing her against me. And for a moment, I am. Instead of a vision of silver and gold that she sees, she sees blue cerulean eyes and ebony black hair. She sees my wolfish grin, my undying loyalty. She sees…me. -_

Just like Kagome, she pretends, playing ignorant to my suffering.

Just like Kagome, **_I_** can pretend…and even though it might not be real, I can still believe.

Yes, I still believe.

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**Author's Note:** So, what did you think? I really enjoyed writing this, and I hope that you've all enjoyed reading this. I've noticed that this piece is "deeper" than my other stories, and I hope that you've all managed to understand the message about Kouga that I was trying to get through. Please review! Comments and constructive criticism would be much appreciated.

- _Caffeine Lover_

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_Shattered Realities_ © Copyright 2007 Caffeine Lover.


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